Honoring Tend/Befriend
Maybe you weren’t being “too nice.”
Maybe you were surviving —
calming others to stay safe,
making peace to avoid harm.
Tend / Befriend isn’t weakness.
It’s wisdom from a nervous system
that learned:
connection can protect you.
But now, you get to ask:
What if that tenderness
could include you too?
Honoring Fawning
You called it kindness.
You called it care.
But really, you disappeared
so they wouldn’t leave.
Fawning isn’t weakness —
it’s survival.
A way your nervous system said:
“If I stay soft enough, maybe I’ll stay safe enough.”
But now, safety doesn’t have to mean self-erasure.
Your no is sacred too.